How does having an incarcerated father affect young women growing up?
They ask, "What does it feel like to have a parent incarcerated?" it shatters and shatters you. Lily, in the dimly lit room of a small apartment, sat in one corner, hunched over textbooks. She seemed to be in agony, an ongoing internal conflict that would not subside; whatever she was thinking and going through was overpowering all of her other thoughts, and she could not snap out of it.
The weight of her father's absence was overwhelming; it was obviously pressing on her shoulders, the burden of which was apparent from her eyes. The echoes of her father's footsteps had a comforting rhythm. But now those echoes of footsteps had been replaced by a deafening and haunting silence since the incarceration of her father.
Lily grew up in the absence of her father, who was incarcerated. The familial dynamics were not normal for her because complex emotions c characterized her life, identity, and the character around her. It is not easy to explain to a young child where her father had gone, why, and for how long.
Lily's father was taken away and imprisoned when she was just eight years old; he was swallowed mercilessly by the criminal justice system. She had to grow in his absence; seeing him around like it is with average families was not a possibility here. Lily's image and memories of her father were fragmented, like pieces of shattered glass scattered all over the floor, too broken to be put together and fixed.
She had to adjust with the most of him she got, which meant clinging on to the fleeting moments of his warmth and tenderness. She could only listen to his voice, laughter, and the smell of his cologne for a minimal amount of time.
After he was gone and put to prison, the memories also started fading. She held on to them for as long as she could, but the human mind has its limitations. The nightmarish reality of his absence eventually replaced the faded memories of her father.
The absence of her father left an unfillable void that remained unfilled regardless of the infinite amount of love or affection she received from her mother or anyone else. The guidance, wisdom, and security stemming from the presence of a father cannot be replaced by the warmth of a mother’s love.
She had no choice but to navigate the treacherous world. In the naivety of her youth, without someone to guide her, she stumbled amidst the ensuing chaos. In her teenage years, Lily grew more understanding of her father's incarceration; however, the implications of it started becoming more apparent as well.
Lily could not keep her inner turmoil at bay; her peers and class fellows could guess that something was amiss with her. Her class fellow should whisper behind her back, spread rumors, and shed judgmental glances. It would make her uncomfortable, like she did not fit, like an outsider, always under the suspecting gaze, condemned to walk alone.
Life is not always miserable or dark; there are moments of light that give a bleak ray of hope. Even if everything seems to be going down the wrong track, something sparks a glimmer.
Lily could not keep her inner turmoil at bay; her peers and class fellows could guess that something was amiss with her. Her class fellow should whisper behind her back, spread rumors, and shed judgmental glances. It would make her uncomfortable, like she did not fit, like an outsider, always under the suspecting gaze, condemned to walk alone.
away from everyone. The pain there would not subside; instead, it would fester like an open wound.
of hope. It could be someone telling you that "you are stronger than you think, you are above your problems," or a seemingly simple line you read in a book while speedily going through its pages at a book stall saying, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional” or, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
As graduation day approached, Lily realized she was at the crossroads of new beginnings; her past life was behind her; it could no longer weigh her down. People who loved her were swelling with pride. Her mother could barely stop her tears, and so could Lily, but this time, the tears were of joy, not sorrow or longing.
Lily overcame the sea of troubles; she had calmed and conquered it. She did not let the absence of her father due to incarceration define her; instead, she used it as a stimulus to become the person she did one day. Proving she was bigger and stronger than the problems the world would throw at her.